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My Favorite Day Parade

by Teddy Faley

/
1.
Ain't no one runnin' from no stopped train That's why I keep my shoes tied and watch you through the slow rain They wanna see my selfish side. I wanna melt it with a welcome hi, Elephant embellish that and sell the sky Most my solo missions mount to quicker fixes then a bandaid on a sinking' ship, or sticking fingers in it I'm gonna drown homie, watch me when wet So when you think I'm gettin' fresh, it's just the salt on my breath That’s why I shrug it off my shoulders like that's all that it is and buckle down like these pants don’t fit Having the time of my life and it cost me nothing except everything right A thousand morning promises forgotten by tonight That fucker in the mirror ain't so clever when he shook When the reader of the diary realize he in the book No matter how he tries to go retracing my steps I'm still raising my right And he still raising his left Ain't no one running from no stopped train Ain't no flat pennies in a world without pain You got your wish homie, hope it's the tits I’ma catch you at the end when you still walking like this
2.
I wanna be a better person, never found they bitter faces Tried to live in cursive, couldn't breathe inside the matrix That's my stupid silly human don't you know better No sweater, out in the snow weather and I'm feeling cold, next to better people. I'm trying to be those better people but There's no god for atheists to speak to So i'm drinking, finding pills drinking, finding pills sinking, dying and I'm sleepy Pining till it eats me Climb into a pint of something creepy Driving home blinded by the silence in my thinking I could be your best friend, get settled for the evening I'll be here until you aint Or i steer into the paint Or my liver can't digest that shit i slip into my drinks I'm on some who'd of thunk it boring to be giving fair warning, huh? I've spent all morning up All of these recordings suck Who the fuck i'm kidding, I aint half the man i once was So I'm sitting at the bar in charm city like Darlin’ I'm a rapper and some people really dig me She offers me a water and asks if I'm feeling dizzy Actually I am thanks for asking you're really pretty See, I've been suffering from an addiction and it grips me In its clutches and it sucks and I wondered if you could fix me? Darlin i'm a rapper and some people really dig me- Uh wait, um, excuse me I got someplace to be I wanna be a better person By that I mean I'm close to perfect A handsome devil, and good fellow By my own assertion Broads think I'm peachy keen, and ain't no guy as fly as me Dudes be like "he's pretty cool, I'd like to buy that guy a drink" If I decide my appetite's too filthy to appease, then please trust me I've already come to terms with what that means And I plan accordingly. As out of sorts is sorta my thing The more I force in some order, the more disorder I bring I'm in the driver's seat, upside down, hit a few trees That seems a momentary thing, as now I'm back on the street Trying to light a cigarette while some dude's screaming his head off “You're covered in fucking gasoline, you'll burn yourself to death boss” If you play your cards right, an ace up your sleeve, will spade the heart of any joker trying to live like a king Or bring silence to a soldier at his moment to sing I'm sick of living everyday like I aint posing my strings Or in control of the thoughts of the way the sober me thinks I shoot for salt of the earth I pepper drugs in my drinks I tried to bury my past I bought a shovel and map Then dug a hole so big I couldn't climb back out of the grass I can't be trusted no more I forced the border too much Let the forces run they course of disproportionate touch Been a sad case statistic since I flipped it on some different shit I'm speaking for myself Not the cats that witnessed it Let's get it poppin'
3.
A-Class I was at the two car garage with the rock metal heavy band Living so illegal like a Mexican I was in the Chevy van Your girl had an uneven metric tan Teddy Faley An uneven metric tan? A-Class Yeah that shit was heaven ham Hold her with the heavy hand I was in the regiment Teddy Faley I was in the bathroom of the Bennigans, waitin' on a diet coke & venison Hoping they don't notice that I snuck my whiskey in again I kick the flask, then I holler at Class - he said A-Class I drowned in bottle or glass, swallowed it fast Teddy Faley I was at the art store, finding me some art for Artistic endeavors that I measure by the dartboard Wanted to be a star but got tangled in the harpsichord Now I’m hardly in the mental space to grace you with an art form A-Class Space like traits of Star Wars I was in a space you could park four cars I’m a carnivore connoisseur I was in the corner store Y'all are fresh to death I’m the coroner Teddy Faley Or I'm so alive it's an enormous chore Working through my warped in inner corridors More in tune with stoic fascinations & the more obscure A-Class I was on 44th, drinking on a dewars and chloroform Sharp like a thorn on the forest floor Teddy Faley Or or the horns on a cornish boar A-Class Or my speech, I’m a orator Teddy Faley Or...Or Morphine and horse in the form of a gorgeous snort I'm on my bullshit, ain't no one important more A-Class I was at the Source Awards Videos display poison like Bell Biv Devoe I was at the Cinema Dome in suede indigo I’m at the dinner show, you in the kitchen hoe Teddy Faley I was at ya homie house, hungry with the munchy mouth Cheese and toast bologna route & lemme get that sobe now Feet up on his only couch, like I'm the king of chillin out A-Class At the Lambs Club trying to battle Zakarian I was at the bar it was bavarian That was very thin how I carried him Your chick’s got a chest that I could fit 2 canaries in I was at the Planetarium Teddy Faley I was into various scary shit Bloody Mary mirror game game & something nefarious I was embarrassed and opened to my therapist A-Class Was it an experiment? Teddy Faley No, I'm American A-Class I was in Maryland at the Marriott, sharper than an arrowhead Nicer than sharing inheritance Teddy Faley I was your parents taking real good care of them Made em carrot soup and herring over asparagus A-Class Well the next day they got very sick Their stomach linings teared and ripped And they both re-married quick Teddy Faley Well it wasn't the asparagus A-Class I was at the rap show, hat low Bitches trying blow like they played with Satchmo Teddy Faley I was at the jack store, looking for some newports and fire sticks Feeling sorta open like my iris’ A-Class I was in the eye of the tidal shift Scoping like I focus & rifle kit Teddy Faley While I was still at home getting nice as shit Whiskey wonderland, I wander abyss Pondering the problems of the handsome rich I’m on some shit, classy get your boy I'm on my drunk tip A-Class Alcoholic 1 fifth, shots like a gun with a snub tip I saw your chick & then I cuffed it Take her breath away where the lung ends Teddy Faley I was at the place where I do stuff doin it/ Swinging 8 balls in my tube socks super quick A-Class I was at the dewdrop future mix Boombox with a Tupac duplicate Teddy Faley A Tupac duplicate
4.
Tequila 02:24
Teddy Faley She said Why don't you buy us a drink, she said I said your neck smells like yesterday's breath and you should get that Checked Plus those bracelets is handcuff cold And they dangle from a wrist that no one wants to hold They bang you from the back cause they don't like your front Cause you front Cause you just another bar slug with a buzz Thats talks karma but gonna drive home drunk like all month Get the fuck out my face you cunt Get back at him? Has no one told you hoe, that nose is Patch Adams I linger on that point like yo, it’s so massive The kind I could crawl inside and take naps in What happened I'm just joking But you had to had to butt your nose in So buy me shots or follow where that nose went She’s our Toucan Sam She brought us shots of tequila and we all shook hands and said I don't even really like tequila She don't even really like tequila He don't even really like a tequila But we all drink it That’s a she thing And you a you thing She a bee sting You a shoestring He’s all ‘wait I been hoodwinked’ I'm like “nah homeboy that's just how she do things” You at the bar, bitter cause broads on par with you wanna barter for dark liquor before your parts’ in her & it's not her fault you bent like car fender & Gave all your money to the bartender But I know what you was thinkin’ ‘We gon get to drinking She gon see that I ain't like them other dudes she link with I'll tell her that she's worth it She'll show me all her secrets & ask me how my weeks been I'll tell her how my week went! All this and for some ol chicken you ain't meet yet No wonder why they treat you like a reject You ain't no nice guy finishing last You a nice try now gimmie some cash & the most expensive tequila you have
5.
Teddy Faley Looks like I done bit off a bit more than I could chew So I spit this one out bear hugs and how is yous I ask dumb Qs at the bar, like how's the food Knowing I don't eat no food at the bar, I'm bout that booze If your face ain't cute, When that shift change is? Who replaces you? That new girl, what that chick name is? Your pit stains make you look like you been bricklaying Plus she got a pour like both her wrists breaking The first bartender I dated, she went crazy We broke up, she got married and had a baby The last bartender I dated... I’m the bartender's boyfriend, I do what I want Like, coke off the barstool, or take my booze out front I'm in this bitch after 2 like the mail aint come With just the broads like no males ain't come I’m the bartender's boyfriend, I do what I want Like, coke off the barstool, or take my booze out front I'm in this bitch after 2 like the mail aint come With just the broads like no males ain't come I’m the bartender’s boyfriend I'm the bartender's dude bro Got one in every county like when weather make the schools close Oh that whiskey there, usually it's 2 for those But I get deuce of those for 2 if I text her that she beautiful Fuck, you're so angry, it's a great day to hate me What I got that you ain't? That nice young lady Once she close and lock the door we start whylin It’s ike dusk till dawn but less violent Holy shit She keeps my whiskey dripped and I don't need to tip Attends the university of phoenix in between her shifts Cause one day she’s gonna be a nurse or something But if she aint behind the bar she aint no broad I’m fucking I tell her I'm broke off the top, like a muffin Some charming nugget of Ect ect ect and a bunch of other dumb shit I find me a nice bar Then I date the bartender Then we break up And I can't go back ever
6.
Jadakiss 03:48
Teddy Faley I told her I was chillin, right I ain't been around the way Been hiding from the world, inside the world that I create Met a girl, took her pulse for granted Tandem hands around her waist I told I don't ever act this way I told her I been chillin, right Been posted at my spot That she’d only find my function if she check at where I’m not That I took the long way around a short drop, and broke my own leg Like “how you gon walk away from someone before his bones mend” I walk a tightrope with palms that read ‘show praise’ And got a tattoo on my face that says ‘don’t pray’ I cartwheel in the dark, drunk, but it's ok I told I don't ever act this way You see, we was all thumbs and buscuits but both us is different I told her “some worlds we is, girl, in some worlds we isn't” she said “Well in this one, you’re so close I can smell what you’re missin” And it wouldn't fit inside of her meticulous indifference I'm tearing up the front yard, she sittin on her mittens I'm a drunk ex who don’t text, I’m too proud to live with I told her everything was jesus Then she kitchen sinked the everything between us So I told her I been wide open Tattooed my blindfold in Hope to be the kinda memory she cant cope with We rocked the boat, displacing water out her ocean I’d look her in her eyes and she would look in mine and close ‘em And Gus never liked you That's why he pissed on all your shit then he dropped the mic to spite you But a pattern is a pattern, even joyless as hauki I’m just another lion's tooth And Gus never liked you That's why he pissed on all your shit and then he pissed on all your, pissed on all your shit But a pattern is a pattern, even joyless as hauki I’m just another lion's tooth She shied away from lying to Nah, I ain't mad, I feel marvelous Opened my broken heart starter kit Sharpened it Back on pharmacist’s arm like no charge for this He told that there's other fish I aint understand his argument But I do, do one thing well That’s telling her I ain't myself
7.
Beach Chair 02:44
Teddy Faley You best to put that bourbon in the brown I’m on the better part of barely slept since I first come to town When they found me they said I had said “I'm sorry that I'm subtle, but I'm trying to be trouble I don't want no help, no fuck you” I been a better buddy to my enemies than friends So I'm searching for the greenest grass, hoppin me a fence With apologies to none of y'all, I'm properly convinced That I got every right to act as spiteful as I wanna get I know that ain't endearing, but it is, because it ain't I'm fishing for my fan base out the pond you fuckers drink Wobble home sauced, lost in my own thing It's often me vs me, and the loser can't sleep And the winner gets to watch him try Laugh and point Dollar sign That's the point Yo can't shut his eyes, they’re like entire skies He picks a nice surrounding, when I found him it was fireflies Said he’s waiting on a train that never came and couldn't die I wish I knew him then You wish you knew him now There's a pistol in his mouth And when the rules are use the tools you got then who looks foolish now When my old crippled ass is limpin past y'all, handin' out some pounds I’m on some... who the fuck cares, I'm just glad to be here Running through my 7 deadly sins lookin for leap years That's asking for trouble, shoulda settled for my 3 cheers I'm only here a couple moments homie No beach chair
8.
Gravity 03:51
Teddy Faley I never told a soul Built walls that hold they secrets kept I let the spaces in between the planets rest, and Venus wept Mars collapsed, Saturn slept, Pluto took his ball and left I stayed behind and tried to think of every time I wasn't dead But couldn't hold a candle to the sun, we work for different sides But in a different life I bet we'd ride I'd let him shine, he'd let me burn to death I booked a flight that left so early by the time she packed my bags I’d left Paid my debts when no one’s out Said Gus, we’re off to Baltimore May everything behind us drown Shoulda specified that a metaphor On top my rickety throne, I throw stones of trickery low Cleverly hidden from any window that aint never been closed Hell of a goal Son of a bitch Speak of the devil Whisper the wind Later that day I was found with a mouth full of pills And a handwritten note that said ‘no defense’ Stone, gristle folds in my skin like a broke syringe I'm growing more concerned and less aware Each step I take there's twelve to spare More concerned and less aware Now every step’s a broken ankle Every healthy friend one diagnosis from some shit that’s fatal Every family dinner one car crash away from all alone More concerned with how I got here Less concerned with where to go Old in tone & shape but makes for good talks & provoking statements but click here for your top ten reasons to walk Number five will claw your fucking eye out Nine has mothers horrified Sixty six percent’s one quarter sure they're one in twenty five But it’s the drugs dummy I keeps a jacket On a hoodie On a t shirt On a coward Wearing gloves And no one runs from me It’s my Favorite Day Parade, it numbs your tongue funny All my neighbors think I'm great but both my lungs bloody With my apathetic haze they get no fucks from me When Saturn finally wakes & gets my blood pumping
9.
Me Forever 02:18
10.
They like “Teddy where the hell's your record” I'm like “Hold up for a second, I'm a loaded weapon” With a loaded weapon, investigating my frame of reference Focused best on benzedrex & epinephrine All my friends left me dolo on that night in question So I been solo but for Cubbiebear & AddiKt brethren That's the lesson, life can get mad depressing It taxes friendships and bites with the snap of vengeance And so I smile while I spiral down impossibly slow You want that naked desperation? It's gotta be Bones I like my milk on the floor, my sword in the stone And taking Gus to spoon throw at the fork in the road Borderline the only kinda only kinda torture I know Got my future by the throat though That's morbid I know The more that know, the more that I don't I bum cigarettes to homeless cats and ask where they go Uh uh, actually go Time's escape hatch don’t latch when it close I used to be afraid my past self would follow me home What's so familiar? I hit the lottery though Just couldn't fit the oversized check inside of my nose Yes sir How much did he do? Yes sir I think that he’s dead There's no no hope for anyone and god ain't your friend He cracks crumbs out the penniless and laughs at the dead / We miss you so much Josh

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released July 4, 2019

All songs written, performed, produced, recorded and mixed by Teddy Faley unless otherwise noted
All scratches by DJ Addikt
Photography by Brian Gillis

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Teddy Faley Baltimore, Maryland

Baltimore based rapper and producer also I'm your mom and your dad and your mom.

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